Distractions

I started out my morning by praying for pooh.

It's true. I've learned that the more specific I am in my prayers, the better chance I have of them being answered. And today, I needed to find some pooh.

I have been assigned by my leader to be the designated pooh patrol. ok, it went something more like this. "Roberts Crafts in Brickyard is going out of business and everything is 90% off...is anyone willing to go and see if there is anything pooh related that we could use for girls camp?" Roberts and Clearance in the same sentance? I am so all over it!
We are using a quote from Winnie the Pooh for girls camp this year, and for my vision of the Hundred Acre Woods to be complete, I needed a Pooh. However, since I would be burying half of his body in the dirt, I didn't want, nor did we have the budget, to spend $20 on a new pooh bear...hence the prayer for pooh.

Prayers said...the day begins.

On my to-do list today, I was ready to tackle my closet. Spring doesn't know it yet, but I'm hoping 'If I wear it, it will come', so while swapping out my winter clothes for my spring wardrobe, I turned on the t.v. to keep me company. "My Girl" was on. I haven't seen that show for so long, so clothes sorting took a backseat to Dan Akroyd and Jamie-Lee. I'd forgotten how sad that show was and before I completely ruined my makeup job, I changed the channel in hopes of something a little less tender. Nanny McPhee looked promising. Several distractions and 3 hours later, I had a bag for the DI, and a closet of pastels and short sleeves.

I also had a visit from a young man in our ward. He just started a new job and needed to practice selling his whares, so I agreed to listen to his pitch, fully prepared to say "No" to whatever he was selling. 90 minutes later, I had signed away all my Kohls shopping rights so I could afford the 5 monthly payments on my new set of knives. I'm a sucker, I know. But these things can cut through leather in a single slice! It can cut a rope in a sweeping motion! They were amazazing!
After he left, it took all of 10 minutes to realize what I had done...my husband was going to kill me. For someone who loves a bargain, I don't know why I feel the need to buy from every door to door salesperson that comes along. Usually at a cost much higher than I can afford. My husband has had to come to my rescue more than once. He has saved me from spending our hawaii fund on a furniture/appliance club membership. He's had to cancel the $10,000 worth of new windows I signed up for and the $5000 vacuum that doubles as a air filter system.
However, he wasn't home today to save me from myself, and unless the purchase I make comes at a cost 70-80% less than retail, shoppers remorse inevitably sets in. Today was no exception. I was so embarrassed by my lack of ability to "Just say No", I couldn't even fess up how much I had spent. $50 was his guess. Way off. "More than $50?" Eyes rolling...voice volume higher and more agitated...oh boy, this is not good. Lucky for me, he's off to a softball game where he can vent his frustration with a bat and ball.

As for me, I'm off to the grocery store to buy ingredients for 3 pans of something chocolatey and gooey. Death by chocolate sounds better than the alternative of living with regret at the moment. Grocery shopping on saturdays with half the cities population is distracting enough, but shopping with thoughts of 'what am I going to do to get myself out of this one' doesn't lead to productive meal planning. Dinner and tomorrow's dessert was as far as I got before I gave up.

Groceries bought, food in the trunk, cart in the stall, keys in the door. Funny, I don't remember locking my door. I don't remember having a bag of bagels in the front seat either. Wait a minute. This isn't my car.
Do you know how many people have white Chevy Prism's? At least 3 people in every parking lot. This is exactly the reason I gave my husband just the other day for not taking down my car air freshener, even though it hasn't given off a single scent in a year. Sometimes it's the only way of knowing which white chevy prism is mine. Distracted, I didn't notice until it was too late. As I walked back to the little white car that did have a dangly flip-flop freshener, I was just hoping my groceries were in my trunk and not in the other one. Phew. I just hoped no one saw me playing musical cars.

One more errand to run, dropping off the bag of clothes at the DI. Normally I just drop and go, but feeling a little down, I needed a bargain fix. Something to keep my 'Crown of Clearance Queen' intact. Not really looking for anything in particular, I headed for the videos in hopes that some generous person gave up their season 2 of Lost. No such luck. bummer. Just as I was contemplating why the need to buy someone else's junk when I just happily shed 20 pounds of my own, something caught my eye...it was fluffy, and yellow, with a touch of red. Could it be? Were my eyes deceiving me? On top of a heap of discarded stuffed childhood memories and slobbery kisses, sat on a pile was pooh. As my eyes grew wide and a grin spread across my face, I just knew my poker face had ousted the DI's greatest treasure and now 50 other pair of eyes had also spotted the coveted prize, and if I didn't reach it within seconds, it would be snatched up before me! My speedwalk training kicked in as I dodged and maneuvered around little kids and carts, until finally...victory was mine! Pooh Bear! And he was perfect!

I didn't need more clothes in my closet, more seasons of Lost to distract me from living. I really don't need knives that can cut leather and rope in a single swoop. At that moment, standing in the middle of second hand heaven where bargain shoppers can go wild, suddenly everything was perfectly clear.

Happiness doesn't come from a store. It can't be bought or bargained for. It doesn't hang in your closet or on your walls.

Happiness is knowing that even when we act foolishly and against our better judgement, someone is always watching out for us and is there to help us, even if we don't feel deserving of His goodness.

For me, happiness came from an answered prayer in the form of a pooh.

I'm just grateful that He doesn't get as distracted as I do.

Open letter to mothers

Dear Moms,

Well, another Mother's Day has rolled around. A day for cards, flowers, runny eggs and burnt toast in bed, a day where children everywhere outwardly manifest our love and appreciation for you, although we probably should be doing that every day of the year.

I know as you sit in your church services this day and hear others praise the attributes of 'Motherhood', that you'll be sitting on your bench with tears in your eyes.

If you're holding a sweet little newborn in your arms, you'll be thanking the Lord that Motherhood is finally yours to behold. You'll feel a connection with Him that sent you a precious gift, and get a glimpse into the love that He must have for His children, and finally understand what a 'Mothers Love' is all about.

If your struggling to keep your children quiet, threatening a time out in the hallway, or bribing them with cheerios and fruit snacks, your tears may be those of frustration. As you hear the speaker drone on about their patient, loving, teaching, selfless mother, you might feel overwhelmed or saddened by the lack of patience and joy in the journey you see in yourself. You might feel that "enduring to the end" was a phrase coined by a Mom with small ones attached to every limb, trying to get through another Sunday of lost shoes, hair to be combed, faces to be washed, socks to be found, snacks to be packed, church-filled day. And just when you feel like succumbing to the abyss of self-pity and hopelessness, your children come home with cards filled with hand-drawn flowers, hand-prints forever captured, and hearts with simple declarations of love. Your tears soon turn to those of joy and love, and a longing to keep them young and innocent for as long as possible. Knowing that although the days may seem to endlessly drag some days, that one day you'll turn around, and they'll be grown and just a smile attached to a memory of how things used to be.

If your sitting on your pew and the tears freely flow, a kind squeeze of your hand from your husband gently reminds you that you are still a wonderful Mother. Perhaps your children have made choices that break your heart and make you question your ability to be a Mother. The lives they lead make you doubt and second guess your parenting skills, and leave you to wonder "what more could I have done" , this day might be of no joy to you. As you look around and see from your perspective, perfect families where perfect mothers reside, you might feel like you have failed in the highest calling given to you. Remember, that even in the presence of our loving Father and Mother above, that a third of their children rebelled and are lost to them forever. All is not lost for you. Do you take the credit when your children make good choices and feel the need to nominate yourself for Mother of the Year? So don't take upon yourself the blame when they use their agency and make poor choices, in spite of all that you have taught them. As much as we would like to think we have control over everything our children do, we don't, and at times, all we can do is just love them. That's all they really want. Our attention and unconditional love.

Charity Never Faileth. The pure love of Christ is Charity. The pure love of mothers is a Mothers Love, it also never faileth.

Mom's, don't beat yourselves up today as your sitting in church. If your children aren't perfect, if their socks don't match and their shirts aren't ironed...if your little one just informed you they have to give a talk in primary today...and your teenage has a permanent look of boredom on his face...don't give up. This too shall pass. And one day, you'll look back and wish you would have cherished and celebrated the little moments that come along, not just the big milestones.

Everyday with your children is a blessing. Every child is a gift. Every gift should be received with thankfulness of heart, for the One who gives us the gifts knows best what we need to receive.

Happy Mothers Day to all!

Love, Me