Bragging Rights

I love to brag about my Dad, doesn't every kid? When I was younger, I would brag that my Dad would ride his bike to work, and back. Everyday that the weather was good, he would come puffing up the hill, red faced and sweaty from the upward journey home in the heat of the day. I thought he was so cool! I used to brag that he owned his own business too. For awhile, he did custom made signs that business's attached to their car doors or shop windows. He even let us kids get in on the action by selling customized Christmas Greetings to the neighbors, we thought we were so cool. By the time I was a teen-ager, my Dad had fully embraced his adventurous side and taken up hang-gliding. He would soar in the sky like a graceful bird, and I the proud peacock. It wasn't the cool thing to do when you were a teen-ager to brag about your parents, so I'm sure I didn't give him the kudos he deserved, but now that I'm forty-something, and my Dad is 70, I feel even greater pleasure to brag about him a little, it is Fathers Day after all.
A couple of days ago, my Dad and brother in-law Tom, fulfilled a lifetime dream of my Dad's. I remember as a kid, everytime we would make the 4 hour trip to my mothers hometown in good ol' Lyman UT, my Dad would mention how he would love to someday take the trip on his bike. Well, this week he did it! They biked the 200 miles down, and alot of ups over the big mountain, and made it back in 2 pieces (cuz there was 2 of them). I'm so proud of him! He still hang-glides too, and did I mention he wind surfs as well? But I would sound shallow if I only mentioned his physical triumphs. I have far more to brag about his high morals and integrity.
I remember when I was quite young, my Dad promised to take us camping over the weekend. We looked forward to it all week, and when Friday finally rolled around and Dad came home from work, we were beside ourselves with anticipation! Only one problem, Dad was sick. I'm sure as kids we were self-centered and acted all put out and disappointed that our weekend getaway would be put on hold, but before we even got our hankies wet with tears, Dad was loading up the station wagon and reassuring Mom he would be fine. He made a promise to us kids that he would take us fishing and camping, and he wasn't going to break his promise. There are few memories that really stick out of my childhood like that one, I'll never forget it.
Another memory that I don't have of my Dad, is of him swearing. I have never, ever heard my Dad swear. He had seven kids, so I consider that a miracle of sorts. I love to hear the story told by my sisters about the night that he could have sworn, probably should have cussed, but he didn't. It was late at night, everyone was in bed, and my Dad got up to probably get a drink of water. Down the dark hallway he went, turning the corner to walk into the kitchen, and "BAM", someone closed the sliding door from the living room into the kitchen, and my Dad walked face first into it. He probably said ouch or something, no one is quite sure, because my sisters were too busy giggling after hearing the exchange between the door and my dad. This did stir a reaction from my Dad, he hollered, "Shut Up! It's not funny!" which made them laugh all the more...it still makes me laugh just thinking about it, (sorry Dad, but it really is funny).
I have so many fond memories growing up with my Dad. He was always so funny and loved to make us laugh. Whether it was our turn on pop-goes-the-weasel, or airplane rides as he spun us around by our hands and feet.
From my Dad I got my love of reading, my love of singing, my hairy body and my gift of weeping. I try to emmulate his integrity, his honesty, his sense of humor and positive outlook.

Now if I can just figure out how to bloody stop swearing.

Love you Dad! Happy Fathers Day!

sometimes you just can't tell

long asymmetric haircut
Originally uploaded by wip-hairport

I won't tell you where I was yesterday for reasons you'll understand as we go along, but let's just say I was enjoying a oreo mint milk shake with my mother, sister and daughters. I felt like we were trapped in a scene from the twilight zone. The guy, or girl, or whatever it was that helped us, was very friendly. He, or she, had very long hair, black fingernail polish, possibly eye liner and star earrings in his/her ears. Now I know some guys have long hair and have their ears pierced, but girly looking star earrings? The obvious flat chest gave it away, but I had to think it through, some girls are pretty flat chested ya'know. So, we're enjoying our shake, and in from the back walks thing number 2. (que twilight zone music, ni-ni-ni-ni) This guy/girl had short man hair, was a little chubby, they could have been man boobs, but a voice like a girl. You know it's bad when my mom asks what it was. I think we decided, based on the tone in the voice, it must have been a girl. My husband, peering over my shoulder, just informed me it was a guy. He get's so creeped out he'll only use the drive-thru.
It reminded of an incident several years back. I had just started working for JetBlue and was anxious to start working at home...only one problem. My phone line wasn't connecting to their modem. So, back to the center I went. I pleaded with the phone company to send me someone, anyone, soon! And sure enough, they sent me someone, or something. This very sweet person, had lady hair, I don't just mean it was long, it was curled and styled in that 'I don't know what to do with my hair' look. It had to be a woman. The voice was, well, have you ever had a cold and your voice gets really deep and seductive, and it's really fun cuz you sound like Bette Davis, only alive. Well, this person sounded like that, but tried hard not to sound like that, it had to be a man. The body shape, well those phone repairman uniforms aren't too flattering on either sex, but it was obvious she had something going on up top, so it had to be a woman. Although, he/she knew just a little too much about computers, not to say that girls can't know the difference between a gigabyte and a, a, well I can't think of another computer term, but just because I don't know a darn thing about them doesn't mean that other women can't, but like I said, she just knew a little too much, that gave it away, she was a man. She didn't wear makeup, but then again, not alot of women in the phone/computer repairman business do, at least I don't think they do, he was a woman. Did I mention this happened along time ago? Trey was only 4 years old at the time. I need to stress this fact because of what happened next. He was with me in my office while he/she was working on the phone line, Trey was really quiet and behaving himself so nicely (I realize now he was just confused and trying to process the information his little eyes was seeing) and then he did what most 4 year olds would do when needing an answer to their question. He asked it..."Mom, is that a man or a lady?" Have you ever tried covering up something embarrassing by talking really fast, and loud, hoping it will turn the focus on what your saying, thus forgetting what has just been said? I just hoped that he/she didn't understand the language of 4 year old boys who sometimes show signs of a slight speech impediment. But just in case he/she did hear me, I excused myself and Trey and I fixed a nice plate of cookies we just baked for the nice man/woman who so proficiently solved the problem. I was so thrilled with the outcome and impressed by his/her phone and computer skills, that I wanted to write a letter of praise to his/her boss. This is it! I thought, the moment of truth..."What's your name so I can write in and tell them what a wonderful job you did?"
"Jerry" he/she said.
Wonderful...that explains SO much. Was that Gerry or Jerri or Jerry. Like I said, sometimes you just can't tell.

Looking at the Bright Side

Well, it's official...Kayla has graduated! It's a day she'll never...remember. Seriously, she was on every type of cold medicine we had and was pretty much in a drug induced haze the whole time. Poor thing, she always seems to get sick at the worst times. Pretty much everytime we go on vacation, California, Yellowstone, I guess we have been on vacation more than twice, but still, it really sucked for her. And then there's Christmas. While everyone's ripping into their stash, Kayla is spread out on the couch hoping Santa left her a humidifier and box of kleenex. She rarely gets sick, but if it's a special occasion, her immune system weakens at the very thought of having too much fun. She'll probably get sick on her wedding day too.
I thought it was a real success, due to the fact that I didn't even cry. At least not during the ceremony, although the national anthem made me choke up a little. The guys who sang it were amazazing! I only got weepy when Kayla brought home her yearbook and I read a few of the comments made by her friends, they all love her! They all consider her such a good friend! They all want to stay in touch! And it made me sad, cuz I know how it is. She'll go off to college with one of her friends, they'll be best buds up there if they don't drive each other crazy. She might see a few others on occasion when she comes home for the weekend. She might go to a few farewells for her friends leaving on missions, and might even go to a few receptions. Eventually she'll get married too, have kids of her own, and before she knows it, 5 years will have past and she's going to the reunion and wondering how did I lose connection with these people I swore my undying friendship too?

Umm, maybe that was just me...afterall this is the facebook and twitter generation. She'll probably never miss a beat with any of them. She'll get to see their new dorm rooms, new boyfriends, new hair cut. She'll hear all about their hard classes, their boring professors, where their missions are taking them. She'll know before their mothers do when they become engaged, and when they get pregnant. So why am I getting all teary-eyed about it? Her friends will never be more than a click on the lap-top away. I get a grip and try to look at the bright side of things and have come up with my top-10 reasons of the "Best Part about your Daughter Graduating":
10-No more parent teacher conferences
9 - No more worrying about them getting out of the school parking lot safely.
8 - No more late nights helping her with her art/science/spanish/english project that didn't get started till the day before.
7 - No more reading and signing 8 different class policy forms.
6 - No more reminders every 5 minutes between 6:30 and 7:00 am to wake up or she'll be late.
5 - No more messages on the answering machine that say "Your student has missed one or more classes today" when you thought they were in class that day.
4 - No more honking huge piles of textbooks dropped by the front door.
3 - No more nagging about homework, staying up too late, and procastinating big projects.
2 - An extra $250 in my bank account come next fall cuz I don't have to register her for High School.....and the number one answer is.....drumroll.....dadadadaddadadadadadada
1 - Using the money I would have spent on new school clothes for her and going shopping at Kohl's for me!

I love you Kayla! I'm so proud of what you have accomplished all these years. I'm so excited to see what your future holds for you. I hope you follow your dreams and become a psychologist so you can come back home and help your poor old crazy mother when I don't make sense, although your probably already too late. I hope you love the college life and make the best of it! Then fall in love with some cute student who's going to make alot of money someday, and best of all, I hope you have a daughter just like you! Cuz you have been a complete joy, and you deserve someone to give you as much love and laughter and joy as you have given me.

But then again, you'll probably just get sick.