sometimes you just can't tell

long asymmetric haircut
Originally uploaded by wip-hairport

I won't tell you where I was yesterday for reasons you'll understand as we go along, but let's just say I was enjoying a oreo mint milk shake with my mother, sister and daughters. I felt like we were trapped in a scene from the twilight zone. The guy, or girl, or whatever it was that helped us, was very friendly. He, or she, had very long hair, black fingernail polish, possibly eye liner and star earrings in his/her ears. Now I know some guys have long hair and have their ears pierced, but girly looking star earrings? The obvious flat chest gave it away, but I had to think it through, some girls are pretty flat chested ya'know. So, we're enjoying our shake, and in from the back walks thing number 2. (que twilight zone music, ni-ni-ni-ni) This guy/girl had short man hair, was a little chubby, they could have been man boobs, but a voice like a girl. You know it's bad when my mom asks what it was. I think we decided, based on the tone in the voice, it must have been a girl. My husband, peering over my shoulder, just informed me it was a guy. He get's so creeped out he'll only use the drive-thru.
It reminded of an incident several years back. I had just started working for JetBlue and was anxious to start working at home...only one problem. My phone line wasn't connecting to their modem. So, back to the center I went. I pleaded with the phone company to send me someone, anyone, soon! And sure enough, they sent me someone, or something. This very sweet person, had lady hair, I don't just mean it was long, it was curled and styled in that 'I don't know what to do with my hair' look. It had to be a woman. The voice was, well, have you ever had a cold and your voice gets really deep and seductive, and it's really fun cuz you sound like Bette Davis, only alive. Well, this person sounded like that, but tried hard not to sound like that, it had to be a man. The body shape, well those phone repairman uniforms aren't too flattering on either sex, but it was obvious she had something going on up top, so it had to be a woman. Although, he/she knew just a little too much about computers, not to say that girls can't know the difference between a gigabyte and a, a, well I can't think of another computer term, but just because I don't know a darn thing about them doesn't mean that other women can't, but like I said, she just knew a little too much, that gave it away, she was a man. She didn't wear makeup, but then again, not alot of women in the phone/computer repairman business do, at least I don't think they do, he was a woman. Did I mention this happened along time ago? Trey was only 4 years old at the time. I need to stress this fact because of what happened next. He was with me in my office while he/she was working on the phone line, Trey was really quiet and behaving himself so nicely (I realize now he was just confused and trying to process the information his little eyes was seeing) and then he did what most 4 year olds would do when needing an answer to their question. He asked it..."Mom, is that a man or a lady?" Have you ever tried covering up something embarrassing by talking really fast, and loud, hoping it will turn the focus on what your saying, thus forgetting what has just been said? I just hoped that he/she didn't understand the language of 4 year old boys who sometimes show signs of a slight speech impediment. But just in case he/she did hear me, I excused myself and Trey and I fixed a nice plate of cookies we just baked for the nice man/woman who so proficiently solved the problem. I was so thrilled with the outcome and impressed by his/her phone and computer skills, that I wanted to write a letter of praise to his/her boss. This is it! I thought, the moment of truth..."What's your name so I can write in and tell them what a wonderful job you did?"
"Jerry" he/she said.
Wonderful...that explains SO much. Was that Gerry or Jerri or Jerry. Like I said, sometimes you just can't tell.