tears from heaven...

It rained today. I know why. As the rain pitter pattered on the metal canopy, TAPS played solemnly in the background. The graveside surrounded by mourners whose hearts were heavy with sadness, and heaven wept. For us. Uncle Gus left this earthly exsistence to reunite with his mother who he hasn't seen in over 58 years, his father, brother, and other loved ones.
The service was beautiful, full of rich memories of a father who taught to love, to appreciate family, to find happiness in the simple joys of life, rather than the "things" that often cloud our perspective on what's really important in life. I couldn't help feel a little sorry for myself as my cousin Greg recounted some of his favorite memories about Uncle Gus, because although I spent more time with Uncle Gus's family than any other of my relatives, I realized I didn't really know the man Gus at all, and now it's too late.
Growing up, Christmas evenings were spent gathered at my Uncle Van's house for dinner, playing air-hockey downstairs with the cousins while the adults chatted upstairs. Easters found us at Antelope Island with Aunt Bessie's family. Flying kites and wading in the shallow, salty water. Eating a picnic packed in our easter baskets. Memorial Days found us in Lyman at Grandpa's old homestead where Uncle Jack and Uncle Tom's families lived. After the long 4 hour drive, I couldn't wait until I got to see my cousin Faun and waited impatiently at Grandpa's house till my parents finally dropped me off to spend the weekend.
But Thanksgivings were reserved for Uncle Gus's family! Turkey, mom's homemade rolls and Aunt Peggy's apple pies. Afterwards while the adults visited, us kids would go downstairs, turn off the lights and play "Murder in the Dark". New Years Day would find our family at their house, inspecting their new christmas gifts. While the adults spend the afternoon playing a competitive game of RISK, we played with the cousins new toys and games. I remember every year Paula would get a bottle of "GEE, Your Hair Smells Terrific!" shampoo in her stocking. I would be so jealous, it really did smell good!



Summers would bring us together for barbeques, shasta soda and sparklers on the 24th of July, and since our birthdays were only 2 days apart, occasionally we would celebrate together. One year Aunt Peggy made me a blue 2-piece swimming suit. I thought I was so cool! Without fail, every summer, Paula and I would spend a week at either my house or hers. I loved her house best because she lived in the valley where we could spend hours riding her tandem bike on the flat smooth roads. She loved my house because we could spend hours riding down the steep, fast hills. I do remember one year Uncle Gus called my mom to let her know he was in town for work and was wondering if I would like to tag along back to his house. He picked me up in his big delivery truck, which I felt so cool driving around in. He had to make a few stops at 7-11 to deliver his goods, and at one point pulled out from the back a package of beef jerky and a pop to give to me. I felt so special. I wish I could remember what we talked about during our journey to West Valley, but I do remember not being so shy around him after that.
I have great memories growing up with my cousins, but as far as getting to know my uncles and aunts, I'm afraid I didn't. And that is the sadness that weighs heavy on my heart now.

This has caused me to reflect on my own relationships with my neices and nephews. Do they know me or am I just the aunt who sits in the living room and visits with their moms while they play outside with their cousins. Do they know I like to make up silly poems, that I sing and twirl around the kitchen while I cook, that I like to talk in funny accents and sometimes make up my own words? Or will all I ever be to them is Chelsea, Kayla's and Trey's mom, wife of funny Uncle Tary. I hope to be more than that. I hope I take the opportunity to get to know them better as well.

Uncle Gus, I may not have known you well enough to earn my own nick-name, or well enough to call you by yours, but I do know enough. I know you loved your family and you taught them well. I know you were a good man, a wonderful husband and father. I know you loved my Mom and Dad and loved to hang out with them as much as I love to hang out with my brothers and sisters.
And when we meet again in heaven for the Big Family Reunion in the sky, I'll take the time to get to know you, cuz after your funeral I've got a bunch of questions for you.

No. 1 - You really taught your 7 year old how to drive?