Peace and Quiet

It's been pretty quiet around our house for the past 2 1/2 weeks. Quiet's nice. Quiet's good. Chelsea has been in England for the past 2 weeks, lucky girl, visiting castles and palaces, Jane Austens home, Stonehenge and rocky beaches (we'll see if I can get her to blog about it) so she hasn't been hanging around home. Kayla, of course, is up at school and recently got a job, so we haven't seen her on the weekends as well. So, it's just been me, Tary and Trey, and although I love my boys, it's just not the same without my girls. For some reason, the guys don't want to hang out with me when I'm going to Roberts Crafts or Bath and BodyWorks. They didn't want to see the "Time Travelers Wife" or go to the fabric store to see their new Christmas selection. They dread hearing the words 'Gardner Village' and 'pumpkins' and 'pictures' in the same sentance. Maybe it's because the orange and brown outfits I pick out for them to wear matches the scenery. I don't know. But for whatever reason, I've been doing alot of things "alone" lately. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Sometimes a little alone time is good. I must admit it's kinda nice not to feel outside pressure when you've been staring at the same 4 bolts of fabric for 30 minutes, trying to decide which one is a must have. And scavaging through Kohl's clearance racks is not a task for the patient impaired person.
So, I have embraced my aloneness. It's not so bad. I can get in my car, alone, confident that the radio station which I chose in my car will not start screaming obsenities at me. And my grocery bill has been reduced since I'm no longer pressured into buying fruit snacks, cookies and pop tarts.
Although being alone isn't so bad, being lonely can be. And I've decided there are just certain things I will not do alone, for they seem to draw attention to how alone I really am. They are:

1- Going to the movies. Staying home with a box of kleenex and watching a good cryer alone is good. Going to the movies and crying alone, bad.

2- Eating out alone. Sitting at the kitchen table alone, with a good book and a plate of hot pasta and a big ol' brownie, eating and reading without interruption, is good. Sitting in a restaurant, all alone, pretending to be waiting for someone, looking all pathetic. Bad.

3- Going to a wedding reception alone...awkward. Standing in line, not knowing anyone around you, trying not to care that they are talking and laughing all around you while you stand there looking like a doofus cuz you can't laugh with them or they'll know you were eavesdropping. Then really wanting to stay and have a piece of cheesecake, but again, not wanting to sit and eat alone (see point no. 2)

I received an e-mail awhile back from my cousin which goes against my rule no. 1, but more power to her! I saved it cuz it was so funny...here goes:

I've got something funny to tell you but first I have to confess that I am a closet "Trekkie". I've always loved the Star Trek shows on TV and the movies they've made over the years.

I've been wanting to go see the new Star Trek movie that's been out for a few weeks now but Ross never seemed interested when I asked him to go with me. Finally, yesterday he told me to see if Marj would like to go because he wasn't interested. Well, I decided to go by myself. How hard could that be, afterall, it's something I see people do all the time but have never had the nerve to do. So, today I got online and looked up the times for the Payson theatre and found that the earliest for the Star Trek movie was 11:45 am. Great! I could go see a movie and be on with my day pretty early. At 11:35 I started out and realized that I'll be a few minutes late so I'm almost panicky thinking that there might not be a seat for me but I tell myself, of course there will be a seat, you only want ONE! But what if it's on the front row! OK, just breathe through your nose and try not to get a speeding ticket.

When I arrive I see there aren't many cars in the parking lot so I feel confident that-first, I'll get in easily; and second, I'll not have to sit on the front row.

I purchase my ticket and a soda and head for the usher to hand over my ticket. She directs me to theatre 4, which is close by and I can hear the movie previews playing as I walk in. I not only have a seat but I can have ANY seat in the house because I'M THE ONLY ONE IN THE WHOLE FREAKIN THEATRE!!!

What a blast! I was the only one laughing, crying, SCREAMING...and I could drink my diet coke and eat my contraband candy (the stuff hiding in my purse) without a care in the world AND I could get up and try different seats for a new perspective. I could stand up and yell out loud with my mouth full, AND leave my cell phone on, just because I could!

One thing I hadn't taken into consideration was that my bladder would be getting pretty full before the movie let out and, even though I had to pee REALLY BAD, I couldn't leave and go to the restroom because there would be NO ONE to ask, "what did I miss while I was gone"? So I suffered through.

I now have one more thing added to my bucket list and I do believe that I would do it again-most definitely!

Thanks for the laugh Charmaine! You are much more confident in your aloneness than I am. And thank goodness I won't have to suffer my sad state of loneliness much longer...my girls are both coming home this weekend! Pull out the orange...Gardner Village here we come!

Peace and Quiet and so over-rated.