Tuesday, March 29, 2011

She's cursed...and other fun facts




I was shocked today as I read my favorite blog, V and Co. to learn that her husband will no longer be employed at his current job, and therefore they will most likely have to move.


That's what happens when you live in the middle-of-nowhere Utah and you're not there because you grow hay, or whatever it is those people do for a living in the middle-of-nowhere. He is a therapist/counselor at a secluded school for troubled teens, and apparently they are closing their doors. Not due to lack of troubled teens, I'm sure. I'm sad for her and her family. The middle of nowhere utah is a great place to raise kids. Heck, if I knew how to make a living down there, you can bet your hayfield I'd be living there too.


My shock turned to sadness when I realized that yet another friend of my sweet cousin Faun will be moving away.


Her husband thinks she's cursed; I'm inclined to agree with him. This will make the 8th, or is it 9th friend that I know about who has sold the farm and moved on to greener pastures. It was just 2 weeks ago that she was lamenting on her blog about one of her good friends moving, and now this. It's just to much to bare.


I'm not sure why her friends feel the need to burrow into her heart, then pull up the stakes and move, leaving bleeding holes behind for me to repair when she calls and cries on my phone on my shoulder. I'm far away, and can't give adequate comfort. So please, if anyone out there in middle-of-nowhere utah reads my blog, I plead with you...read on so you can make an educated decision.


To convince all future wanna-be-movers, I've compiled a list of fun Faun facts that I'm hoping will convince you to stay.


1. She's a great photographer and can make your wrinkles disappear, your teeth whiter, your flab firmer!

2. She bakes homemade bread and will gladly share.

3. She paints on walls too. With permanent paint. So unless you figure out a way to take the wall with you, you'll be wanting to stay and look at the pretty painting she did on your wall.

4. She's funny. She can make you laugh. Hard. Don't drink carbonated drinks when she's telling you about one of her funny stories; it hurts going out your nose.

5. She's engaging and can talk to anybody. I've seen her make friends with the salesclerks at Kohls and...well that's the only place we go to. But I'm sure she makes friends everywhere she goes, cuz she's really friendly, and funny. Did I mention that?

6. She's a great storyteller. She can make a trip to the library sound like fun. Oh wait, that's because she works at the library and does make it fun because she's a great storyteller. Go figure.

7. She walks and talks in her sleep. That makes for really fun sleep-overs. Just beware of where you leave your clothes lying around. You might wake up and find them on her. Upside-down.

8. She has a hot-tub underneath a gazillion stars. But I guess if you live down there you have a gazillion stars too, so that's not a good selling point. But the hot tub part is still cool.

9. She loves to shop and is a good bargain hunter. She will even let you have the $10 pair of brown skeechers, even though she found them and they're her size, but you are so jealous and she's nice like that to give them up.

10. She has a heart of gold, a soul of an angel, a mind of a comedian, and a face of a Rodeo Queen. (I almost said Dairy Queen, but thought you would get the wrong impression).


Doesn't she sound like the worlds Best-Friend? Don't you just want to stay there and grow old with her? (I do)...cuz you know if she's anything like her mom, she'll just keep getting more hilarious as she gets older. (love ya aunt owena)


The truth is...I'm so jealous of all you people who live down there in the middle-of-nowhere. You get to see her every week at church. Everytime you go to the library. At the grocery store, at the track meets, at every random field that there's a deserted vehicle (she'll be there taking pictures in case you couldn't find her at all those other places). You are so lucky that she's your friend! I was once her best friend too, but she moved away, leaving me behind. All alone.


So I cursed her.


Just kidding...I didn't really. But just in case I accidently did while I was having a pity-party, I remove the curse from you. No one that you love will ever move away again!


(Effective right after your daughter moves to South Carolina)

5 comments:

Susan said...

Oh, poor Faun! She needs to pack up and move back up here!

Makell Wintle said...

Ah sad, my mom really does have a hard time keeping friends in Wayne. Maybe you should move to the middle of no-where linda! Work from home somehow?!

GGMa said...

That's too bad! The closing of the Aspen Program is going to affect a lot of people there in that little co. One thing Faun will always be your friend because she's your family.

Faund Images said...

OK... make me cry! You are so sweet, kind and really good at making me sound a lot better than I am! Because YOU are the writer and can make anyone sound like they'd sure LOVE to be! So, I will strive to live up to those beautiful, thoughtful words and try not to give my heart up anymore... I will just come up there and get my LInda fix.... cuz I know where to find you. ...cuz you've never moved! ;o)
LOVE YOU!

Faund Images said...

THANK YOU for always pickin' up the pieces, for listening to me, for finding the right songs for the photographs I'm doing, for making me laugh and this time.... making me cry. (in a good way)