Feelings...whoa whoa whoa feelings.

I need a plumber.


Not for my sink or toilet, but for my personal water pipes.


I'm afraid in heaven I may have been a little over-zealous and stood in the line twice when the angels were giving out emotions.


"Emotions! I want some of those! Enthusiasm...that sounds fun! Sense of humor? A must have if I'm going to be a mom! Happy tears...sad tears...I can't decide. Why don't I just get one of each!"


I'm sure it happened just like that too. Why else would I cry when I feel every sort of emotion under the sun.


Grateful: Driving down the street with my beautiful boy in the seat next to me on the way to his baseball game. So grateful that the weather is warm enough to roll down the windows and let the scent of honeysuckle and peonies take over my senses. Grateful to have a son who is such a good kid, who still loves to talk to me about his day, and feeling so blessed that I temporary lose sight of the car ahead of me because tears are welling up in my eyes. Crying and driving can be a dangerous thing. Stop feeling so blessed and focus!


Proud: Listening to our national anthem being sung at the REal Soccer game last night while holding my hand against my heart as the national guard stands at attention with our flag blowing in the breeze. Feeling grateful that I'm not the one singing it, because I can barely choke out the words. I am so proud to be an American, and so grateful for the men and women who sacrifice so much to protect our freedoms.This is why I hold my hand over my heart, to keep it from jumping out of my chest.


Touched: Standing in front of my class at work and asking them what motivates them. One young lady said her younger brothers motivate her. Her mom passed away, leaving her to fill some pretty big shoes. They motivate her to be a good example, to influence them the way her mother would if she were here. As she was talking about her new roll as surrogate mother and big sister, I was so touched by the thought of this young girl's mother, watching from heaven, or perhaps by her side, gently guiding her and thanking her for being there for them and doing what she no longer could. Tears welled up and I could hardly speak, other than to thank her, because I was a mom myself, and know how much that means to her mom. Crying while you're training is not very professional. The bad news (in case crying in front of the class isn't bad enough) I was being video-tapped for evaluation. More tears will be forthcoming I'm sure.


Happy:  Grocery shopping on a Friday night doesn't make me happy. To think that's the best way to spend my Friday night is actually pretty sad. But what does make me happy is that no one else is shopping Friday night's at Macey's, so I pretty much have the store all to myself. Which comes in handy when you get a text at 9 pm in the cereal aisle from your brother, telling you that prayers have been answered, and he (John) and his wife (Shara) are expecting a baby! Wishing I was in the Kleenex aisle, I'm scavenging through my purse for a tissue, when a second message comes across...TWINS! Now I'm making gurgling noises because I'm trying to hold back the sobs, and again feeling so grateful no one is there to see the spectacle I'm making of myself. I couldn't leave the safety of the cereal till my face returned to a normal color; needless to say, I ended up with 8 boxes, all of them LIFE. (just kidding, but that would have been very appropriate)


Sad: Sitting in church today, listening to a return missionary describe his experience on the day that he left for his mission. Leaving for the MTC in brazil, his parents got to take him to the airport to say their good-byes. As he was hugging his Mom for the last time in 2 years, he couldn't control his emotions and started to cry. As his Mom was preparing to pull away, he said he couldn't, because he was still crying and didn't want his Mom to see, so he kept her in what must have been the longest bear hug she ever received. So of course, here I am, sitting next to Trey, and thinking about how I only have two more years to prepare for that day to come. Tears are spilling down my cheeks, (kinda like how they are now) and I'm already wondering how will I be able to bear it, when just thinking about it turns me into a puddle.


Feeling so grateful that Trey is a worthy young man, proud to be his mother, touched by his willingness to go and serve, happy that he's making the right choices, and sad that life will never be the same once he goes. Can you see my predicament? I've got 5 strikes against me in the emotions department. I don't stand a chance. Maybe I should buy stock in Kleenex and laugh my way to the bank.


Did I mention I cry when I laugh too?