It's nice to know I'm not alone in the world of "what-the-heck-did-she-just-say". I've come to the knowledge that there are more people out there with the same affliction. It's a pretty common disease. They even have a name for the condition, it's called "Spoonerisms". Now I can reassure my husband I'm not just crazy, I have a negitimate lame for it, I mean legitimate name. If your wondering if you have it, a few symptoms are eggs that litch, (legs that itch) your chips are lapped (lips are chapped) you have sudden urges to shake a tower (take a shower) and you love cop porn, umm, I meant pop corn.
I do have cause to believe, at least in my case, that this is a heriditary condition. After all, my sister Susie cuts her grass with a mow-lawner, and my cousin Makell changes the channel on her TV with her mocon retrol. When she was little she used to try to catch hossgrappers, so we know it can reveal itself at an early age. I like to think I have inherited my flowery vocabulary from my Aunt Owena who is so proficient in spoonerisms that down south they call it "Owena-eeze". My favorite Owena-eeze story told by my cousin Faun is:
Aunt Owena was at the grocery store with her daughter Charmaine and mentioned she needed to buy some (say it out loud, it's funnier) "CARN STARCH" . Not sure if it was just her southern country accent creeping out, she asked her mother, "What did you say you need?" Now poor Aunt Owena, being flustered and all knowing she had mispronounced the word, shouted out "CORN STORCH".
Ah, that makes me laugh! I love my Aunt Owena! We're just like poo tease in a pod!
SO...
If you find yourself fighting a liar, instead of lighting a fire, or looking at pretty flutter-bys instead of pretty butterflys, don't be alarmed, but you may have 'spoonerism'. But don't take it as a blushing crow, or a crushing blow, your condition isn't harmful, it's actually helpful. Afterall, laughter is the best medicine. And if people make fun of you, well...just remember...it's better to have Owena-eeze than mad banners. I mean, bad manners.
SEE YA, EYE BALL
(i mean, see ya, bye all)
3 comments:
ha ha. Linda, you are foo tunny. Thanks for making me feel better about my spoonerism. I just remembered that my mom said I called grasshoppers... hossgrappers when I was like two. So I showed signs of spoonerism at an early age. Thanks for the diagnose that I most definitely inherited from my grandma.
also.
I love cop porn.
I was just reading my friend's blog and thought I'd share her thoughts with you!
"Finally all the arrangements have been made, kids in their proper places, homework complete, pack backs loaded,"
I'll be sure to tell her of her ailment, spoonerism.
I think I'll share this one with my mother! Thanks for making me laugh! I love ya!
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